AUGUST 15

People cannot live without love. I believe that Charlotte would be sad if I were no longer around. And the children want me to visit nearly every day. Today they begged me to tell a story, so during teatime I told them the story of Cinderella. My goodness! How carefully they listened! Just for fun, I changed a part of the story and they immediately pointed out that that was not what was supposed to happen. From this experience I have learned how a book or poem, once published, can never be changed or improved later by the writer, for the public will not accept the changes.

AUGUST 21

She is not mine to have and yet I still awaken every morning reaching out for her. My dreams play jokes on me by making me believe she is mine when I am asleep. I go to kiss her hand and put my arms around her, only to find myself alone in bed in the middle of the night. My eyes fill with tears from the thought that there is no hope for us to be together.

AUGUST 22

It is terrible, Wilhelm! I cannot seem to do anything anymore. I cannot enjoy my walks outside, nor can I be happy reading Homer. God! How I wish that I were a simple worker, who has nothing but his job to think about. I see Albert sitting at his desk, hard at work, and it awakens within me a desire to work. I think that I would like to try for that Embassy job you mentioned a while ago. Ah! In the back of my mind, I have the story of the horse that became bored with his freedom and let himself be used by people for work, which, after many difficult years, eventually killed him. I do not know if this is the right thing for me. I think that I just need my life to be different from the way it has been.

AUGUST 28

Today is my birthday. Albert and Charlotte sent me a box of wonderful gifts. They gave me a book that I had always wished to have, and a pink ribbon from Charlotte's dress, which I had asked her to give me long ago. They are simple gifts, but they are better than anything else in the world, because they show how thoughtful my two friends are. The ribbon brought back memories of the days when Charlotte and I were alone. Ah, but things are as they are, Wilhelm. Many flowers grow and die completely forgotten. Some manage to produce fruit, and others do not. And yet, often that fruit ends up going bad, for no one has taken the opportunity to enjoy it. Often, I will shake the apples from the trees at Charlotte's home while she waits under the branches for them to fall.

AUGUST 30

I am so sad. I do not know why I cannot stop feeling this desire for her! She is always on my mind. Each day, I spend endless hours thinking about her, until finally, I manage to force myself to stop. During the moments I am with her, I lose control over my whole body. My heart beats quickly, I breathe as if someone were holding a knife to my heart and my vision becomes unclear. There are even times when I begin to doubt whether I am really living. When this happens, I always leave her and go running into the woods. There, I will wander into areas that people have never visited, areas without paths. The plants are so thick there that they cut me as I force my way through them. The pain somehow helps me to feel a little better. Then I will lay down on the hard ground, tired and extremely thirsty. Other times, I will sleep under a tree at nighttime, only to awaken at sunrise. Even the loneliest man in the world would feel pity for me now. I feel as if my sadness will never end and only death could give me peace.

SEPTEMBER 3

Yes, Wilhelm, you are correct. I have to leave this place. I have spent two weeks thinking about going away. She is now in town, at a friend's home. Albert is ... Yes. Certainly, now would be a good opportunity to go.

SEPTEMBER 10

I have much to tell you, Wilhelm! From this night forward, I will be able to handle anything. My eyes will never look upon her again. How I wish that you were here for me to talk to and cry upon, I write this now with a wild heart, barely able to control myself. I have arranged for a carriage to come tomorrow morning.

She has no idea that I am leaving. After talking for two hours tonight, I managed to keep my plans a secret And it was quite an interesting talk that we had, Wilhelm!

I watched, one final time, the sun go down behind the mountains of Walheim, while standing under the two large trees I had mentioned to you before, near the hotel. It has been my favorite place to spend time while living here. Before, Charlotte and I would often come here together, because it also happened to be her favorite place.

Down the road from this area there is a little quiet place that few people visit. There are many trees there, so very little light gets through. This place has always given me a sad and mysterious feeling. It seemed to me that, one day, something very important would happen to me there, whether good or bad, I do not know.

This evening, I waited thirty minutes for Charlotte and Albert to return from the garden. When I heard them coming, I rushed over to them and nervously kissed Charlotte's hand. After a short while, we found ourselves in that dark little area I just wrote about. The two of them sat down together, but I was too upset to sit. I walked back and forth in front of them. Noticing the way the moonlight was shining further down the road from us, Charlotte said, "Such a sight always makes me think of my friends who have died. It makes me feel certain that we will live another life after this one, but I wonder if we will meet each other in that next life. Do you think so, Werther?"

I went over to her with watery eyes and said, "Of course we will." I was so emotional, I could not say anything else. I could not believe that she was asking me such a question on the very last night we would be together.

She then continued, "I wonder if those who have died can see what we are doing? Do they know when we are thinking about them? I hope that my dear mother can see that I am doing my best to make her very last dying wish come true. I am taking good care of her children and feeding them well and giving them all of my love. They wear nice clothing and they go to school. I hope that all of her worries are now gone."

"Don't let such thoughts upset you so much, dear," Albert quietly said.

"She was such a wonderful, hard-working, beautiful woman. You must remember the great conversations we once had with her. I wish that I could be the way she was."

I threw myself at her feet, seizing her hand. "Charlotte," I said, "God's blessing and your mother's spirit are upon you."

"How I wish you had known her," she replied.

I felt so honored. I almost fell over from weakness.

"She died so young, just after having her last baby, was only six months old All that she cared about was her children. In her last moments, she asked me to gather the children around her. When they were all there, she whispered a prayer to heaven for them all, and then asked that I take good care of them. 'Be good to your father, as well,'she said, 'and help him to be happy when I'm gone.' Albert, you remember this. You were there. She called you over to her, as well, and wished us a happy life together."

Albert suddenly became more emotional than I had ever seen him before. He kissed Charlotte and promised to be with her always. I was so moved that I could not speak.

"It is hard to accept when God takes such dear people away from us. Even the children cried out the question, 'Why did they take our mother from us?' when the men removed her coffin from our home." Charlotte then got back to her feet and said, "It's getting late. We ought to go."

I took her hand and would not let go of it when she tried to pull it back. "I promise that we will be together again. I will leave, but we will meet again. Goodbye. Goodbye."

"Of course, we'll probably see you tomorrow," she said, smiling.

It hurt me to hear that last word: tomorrow. I cried as I watched them walk back toward Charlotte's home. Just as they were about to walk out of my sight forever, I ran down the road in order to catch one last look of her white dress as it slowly moved into the darkness through the entrance to the garden. I held my arms out toward her and then she was gone.

(end of section)